Pastor Tony Rapu, Senior Pastor of the House of Freedom in Lagos, shared a post on marriage on Friday afternoon.
The clergyman who has been married for over 30 years, advised intending couples to be aware that love alone cannot sustain a marriage. He also added that true loves is displayed only by grown-ups and not teenagers.
The problem with puppy love
Most couples who get married do it because they are ‘in love’ and they usually believe that the feelings that brought them together will last forever and will keep them together forever. The problem with this is that we cannot rely on feelings. Feelings can change depending on so many external factors and they often do. If your marriage is based on feelings, what then happens when the feelings begin to fade as they inevitably will? The marriage has nothing to stand on. If the only reason you got married was because you were ‘in love’ then you have no reason to stay married when the feelings are no longer there.
Being ‘in love’ is a great thing. Marrying without some form of emotional attachment would be sad, really. But being ‘in love’ is about the chemistry, the romance and the excitement. It’s about pounding hearts and a constant desire to want to see the person all the time. But this is what we call ‘puppy love’. It is good for the attraction in the beginning of the relationship. Being ‘in love’ is a wonderful thing and is needed to spice up marriage from time to time but it’s not real love and it’s not enough to sustain a marriage. Being ‘in love’ will fade so you need to expect that to happen and not be shocked when it does.
True love is not what you feel, it’s what you do. It is about commitment. True love cares, it gives, it gets hurt and is willing to die for the one it loves . We know this because the bible says God is love. He demonstrated His love for us on the cross. That’s real love. It makes sacrifices. That’s the kind of love that makes a marriage last a life time. It is the kind of love that gives something puppy love can never do. Real love is what brings emotional, physical and spiritual oneness in marriage. Puppies and teenagers can be in love but true love is for grown-ups.
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